#poem

Left Behind

After volunteering to give you the world,

I realized the offer had fallen on deaf ears.

But the loss would never be mine.

The absence of my presence would teach you a lesson

far greater than harsh words or cruel intentions could ever inflict.

The sweetest revenge was simply moving on and letting go.

Better was on the horizon and happiness was near

by knowing I’d never be incomplete

because I loved myself to not settle for an inadequate love.

 

-AKT Authentic

Exposed By Truth Excerpt 1

I woke with the notion that it had all been a dream but it wasn’t. Sweat beaded slightly around my temples as my labored breathing came to a calming tempo. I rolled over and there he was.

Peaceful.

I admired his chiseled jaw line, brown skin and full lips.

“What did I do to deserve this?” I thought as I attempted to gently slide out of the bed and make a dash for the door. As if it had been second nature to him, he felt my weight shift and pulled me in closely.

“You’re not going anywhere.” He said still half asleep and I sighed deeply. One too many times we’d been at this place but for some reason the words seemed to resonate more this time than ever before.

Surely this couldn’t be what love felt like.

My heart began to race and anxiety bloomed in my chest like a rose opening up to the morning sun as it feels the warmth.

“Am I ready, can I do this?

Fuck.”

My palms began to sweat and a wave of nerves hit me like a ton of bricks. The only thing running through my mind was whether or not I could live up to his expectations. I learned many moons ago not to expect anything. It was best to take each moment for exactly what it was and cherish the memory later. Cause real love wasn’t a guarantee, surely it couldn’t happen to a girl like me. It was understood to be saved for the lovely girls who sat in the church pews every Sunday with a smile on their face and a prayer on their lips. I wasn’t the proverbial 31 woman who lived by the good book. I was too much of an independent thinker. My love for God didn’t need to be shouted at the top of my lungs surround by hypocrites who didn’t live by his holy word.

My God made me and the universe alike. I was one with everything around me. I was my savior and the love I felt for myself didn’t need to be interrupted by the likes of another.

Or so I thought…

Like clockwork he told me to stop thinking so much because he knew me so well.

Before I could plan to sabotage the atmosphere he’d so delicately created just hours before taking me to new heights of intimacy he uttered ever so lightly,

“I love you.”

My resolve faded and I sunk deeper into his chest too afraid to say the words back. But he understood. He kissed the back of my neck gently and I could feel him smile against my skin as he reassured me it was okay to allow myself happiness.

“I love you too.”

And just like that, I knew it was the beginning of something I never imagined happening to me.

 

The L Word

Lonely is its own kind of beast.

The one we run from but never really defeat.

A creature that comes along with life’s highs and lows.

Lonely will put up a good fight when it tries to take control.

But there’s one thing that can keep lonely bound.

And that’s refusing to let it run your perseverance into the ground.

Mind over matter will surely come into play.

Stand firm, smile and say affirmations to keep lonely at bay.

Lonely will try to disrupt your inner peace.

However, you must tell it, “you will not take over me”.

Lonely disappears when you don’t give it attention.

Don’t fret or worry when lonely is mentioned.

Because one thing you can be sure of, is that you are not alone.

So lonely shouldn’t have the privilege of ruining your mind, soul or home.

Hood Logic

Man listen…

Don’t you get tired of the same ol’ shit?

Don’t you get tired of the same ol’ clique?

Don’t  you get tired of the same old games?

Don’t you get tired of not elevating your brain?

Y’all love to hang around the same type of group.

A bunch of no good niggas and bitches tryin’ to get the scoop.

Over petty situations that don’t mean none of y’all any good.

But everyone quick to yell they love bein’ from the hood.

And for what?

Don’t you have higher aspirations?

Ain’t you tired of guessin’ who your baby daddy is?

Ain’t you tired of burnin’ from tricks?

Instead of lookin for the next one who’ll suck yo dick?

All I wanna know is, what’s the point?

Cause you won’t find any happiness at the end of your blunt.

You won’t find a peace of mind in a bottle.

So stop getting  caught up on the first one that’ll holla.

“Hey, what’s up, hello” like ya name Fetty Wap.

But in reality these folks ain’t got squat.

And no I’m not speaking in terms of material possessions.

The type of people you stay dealing with don’t have a personality to invest in.

Mentally you get less than what you deserve.

Emotionally they don’t even care if you hurt.

Physically they can’t even get the job done.

Shit since we being honest, you can’t even get you one.

But it’s cool, I get it that’s all you know.

All I’m saying is, that hood logic you abide by is keepin’ you low.

Cause I want more than this “hood shit”.

I got enough of that by growing up in it.

You can do better, you got a lot of potential.

All this hood logic don’t even make sense.

If you keep this up, you’ll be referenced in past tense.

That’s just being straight up honest, catch the hint, get a clue.

Before you become a hashtag and the police kills you.

Black Lives Matter, but y’all steady with the shit.

We got bigger enemies than the mess you deal with.

Get over yourself and fuck your clique.

Grow the hell up and stop reasoning with this hood logic.

Outside Meditation

I listened with intent.
Taking note of the air that filled my lungs.
The wind that kissed my cheeks.
The ground that balanced my body.
The sweet smell of life blooming around me.
Fall was coming.
Yet I still reveled in delight of the sun as the last of its summer rays adorned my skin lovingly.
My eyes opened and once again,
I was brought back to reality.

I Am Filled

Quiet like the storm
That brews beneath the surface.
I am learning to control my currents.
I resonate with self
more and more each day.
My cup will runneth over.
I will fill myself up to the brim.
And even when I am used,
I will never dry.
My depths will reign
as deep as the ocean.
My flow will align
with the stars and the moon.
My sun will shine
in the midst of clouds.
And my warmth will radiate
no matter the situation.
I am filled.