Month: March 2016

Exposed By Truth Excerpt 4

“It’s okay to not be okay.” He said.

“Yeah I know, but I wish it didn’t take so much effort. I feel like such a burden.” I let out an exasperated sigh as the tears continued to fall. “I don’t understand how you deal with me or put up with this. You don’t have to…”

“Listen to me Jade,”  he said. “I love you. This isn’t something you have to run from or hide any longer. I’m choosing you. ALL of you.

Depression doesn’t take away from who you are. It doesn’t take away the light I see in your eyes or the playfulness of your laugh. It doesn’t make you less of a person or unworthy of love. It just means WE have to work a little harder together to make sure you know those temporary feelings are just that, TEMPORARY.” 

“Yeah that sounds good and all Zaiere, but how can we take on something that I don’t even know how to handle most days? How can I expect you to understand when somethings I don’t even understand myself? It wouldn’t be fair of me to ask you to take this on with me.”  I didn’t understand why he couldn’t catch the hint. I didn’t want him to see me like this. Bubbling over with overwhelming emotion that I couldn’t control. I was a hot mess.

“No one ever said you had to ask. I’m willingly taking a stand on this with you. Because I love you. And your well being is more important to me than you being ashamed of your situation. Life happens. We all go through things and sometimes we aren’t supposed to go through those things alone. God placed me in your life at the right time, for the right reasons.

It’s not about me just helping you, loving you is allowing me to help myself too.” 

I sat quietly as I digested what he’d just said. Zaiere wasn’t afraid of feeling but he was also a man of very few words. I could tell the conversation was becoming a bit much for him. Well at least it was becoming too much for me.

I’d never felt so… vulnerable with someone. Is this what real love felt like? If so, I could see why people became obsessed with it.

To have that void filled, that constant want or longing of having someone so selfless come into your life that will compliment you in every way, was happening to me and I didn’t know how to deal.

He was venturing into troubled waters that no one had ever cared enough to explore. Depths that were foreign to anyone except the voice in my head that would tell me I can’t escape it’s murky uncertainty.

But surely, I could defeat the dark pieces of me if he carried the torch of light into my life.

In that moment, I decided to fall.

 

 

-AKT Authentic

Exposed By Truth Excerpt 3

Zaiere.” God I loved the sound of his name as it rolled off my lips.

Yes Jade.”

I could hear the smirk in his voice as if he already knew what was coming.

“I have a question.”

He grinned, knowing I was about to say something along those lines.

“What is it love?

“Do you ever get tired of this…phase?”  I stared pensively at the floor, hoping he wouldn’t get frustrated with my ever present sense of insecurity. I wasn’t trying to ruin the flow of our newly budding relationship, but my inner rationale kept telling me that this was too good to be true.

This beautiful, thoughtful man was all mine. And no, I didn’t think less of myself as though I didn’t deserve him, I just figured falling in real love wouldn’t happen to me. I spent all these years building myself and my career up, so I accepted that love may not be apart of the picture for me. I wasn’t a child anymore. Yeah it’s cute too believe in fairy tales when you’re young, but life as an adult will always bring you back to reality.

No, I don’t.” He replied with the most sincere expression that I almost felt bad I even asked.

And before you ask why, I’ll tell you.
I know you’ve been hurt. I know you’ve moved past that hurt for the most part.

But what I see in you now, is fear.

You’ve spent so much time growing into this amazing woman, the guard you’ve put up around yourself may seem impenetrable to another. But for me, I see the woman worth being patient for. I want to remove that fear by loving you unconditionally. I want to break down your resolve, leaving no traces of doubt.

I will not leave you.
I will not hurt you intentionally.

I will do everything in my power to make you comfortable with loving me, just as I love you.

We’re both new to this, but if we’re in it for the long run, this is one hurdle we can work through together. I love you. I want to make you feel secure, and if that means being patient while you work through the insecurities you currently have, I will wait as long as you need me to. We have a lifetime of love flowing between us and I will remind you each day of why I’ll always stay.”

Wow.

Once again, this selfless human being has left me speechless and even more grateful to have him in my life.

Thank you.”

Unsure of what else I could possibly say, I gave him the most loving kiss and a smile of satisfaction.

One thing I did know for sure, was that I was absolutely smitten. I wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that friendship would lead me to a love like this.

Why I Love Ginger

In my last post, I stated how much I love tea. I failed to mention that I also love to add ginger to my tea. Ginger Root is a great natural remedy for an array of symptoms. It’s most common use is for an upset stomach (nausea, indigestion, heart burn, etc.). It’s also said to be great for lowering blood pressure and boosting up your circulatory system.

DSCF0093

Ginger has a pretty unique taste. To me, it’s like a warm spicy flavor. I don’t like my tea super sweet, so it’s a nice contrast to whatever sweetener I do choose to use in my tea (my go to’s are organic agave, honey or sugar in the raw). The health benefits of ginger is what originally drew me to it. Ginger is anti-viral and anti-inflammatory, which is great for your immune system and those aches/pains you may have on a day to day basis.

Adding ginger to your diet (and it doesn’t have to be in tea, it can be cooked and or bought as a seasoning) would be a great asset, but don’t just take my word for it. Look up the benefits for yourself and see if it’s something you may try. It definitely wouldn’t hurt and on the positive side, you would’ve taken a step in the right direction for more healthier options when cooking. It’s become a staple in my kitchen and is a great go to for those days I’m not feeling up to par.

Random: Tea Time

I love tea.

Real herbal tea.

Not that sugary sweet diabetes tea that you get from McDonald’s, and if that’s what you’re into, put the cup down and walk away. What many people don’t realize is that herbal teas are a great way to relax and heal your body at the same time. Depending on whats ailing you, an herbal tea can help your body in the healing process or alleviate pains. And it’s just good to have on your day off when you have some quiet time to yourself.

 

DSCF0101

To create an even more peaceful space for myself, I burned a bit of sage, keeping my rose quartz and citrine close by. Lately I’ve been really doing better about being mindful of my reactions and having these two around remind me to be just that.  I look at my crystals and think to myself, be mindful of your thoughts, what you dwell on is what you will manifest. Since I’m in the process of making some really big changes in my life, there’s no need for negativity, especially during my quiet time. There are still moments where I’m completely over it all. However, how you react and what you put your energy into can make a difference in your day. I’d much rather be happy than upset and flustered. So I’ll take my tea time and a peace of mind over chaos/negativity any day.